This Inquiring Mind Wants To Know

Do I really have to remind you how much I hate stupidity? Probably not, but I also have to assume that many stupid people may stumble across my little humble abode on the net, so let me say it again.... I HATE STUPIDITY!!!

I have been thinking about some of the ignorant things people say every single day and there are many which annoy the piss out of me. Let me give you a few examples...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking you what time it is as if you don't have a clue what a watch is or wouldn't know where to find it. I am surprised they don't point at their crotch when asking where the fucking bathroom is.
2. Why do cops ask people if they know how fast they were going when they pull them over? Okay if they pulled me over wouldn't they be the ones with that tidbit of information? Seriously, are we playing a guessing game? If I get the answer right do I get out of the ticket?
3. I hate people who ask if they can borrow something when they mean to ask if they can have something. For instance, a piece of paper or one of my cigarettes. Why the hell would I want it back after you borrow it?
4. "Oh you just want your cake and you want to eat it too!" Do I really need to elaborate on this one? Okay for the stupid out there I will. Of course I want my cake and yes I want to eat it as well. What else am I going to do with my cake? Was I supposed to eat someone else's cake???
   
5. Why do they call things "new and improved"? It really cannot be both can it? If it's new then it can't be something which was improved upon right? And if its improved, how in the fuck is it new?
6. I hate the saying, "You will always find what you are looking for in the last place you look!" Really? No shit? You don't say? So you mean I will keep looking after I have found it just so it wouldn't be in the last place I look or what?
7. If you expect the unexpected then it really wasn't unexpected to begin with now was it?
8. "A stitch in time saves nine" - What does this mean? Saves 9 what? Minutes? Lives? Dolphins from getting caught in tuna fish nets??? HELP!!!
9. "That's the pot calling the kettle black" When did this pot learn to talk and does the kettle even know what it's saying?
10. I once had someone ask me if I wanted to "Go Dutch" on something. Why do they call it going Dutch? Are the Dutch known for paying for everything? If that's the case, I am getting me a new pen pal cuz I got a huge stack of bills which need to be paid.