Sunday

For All The Stupid People Everywhere

To all the stupid people in the world:

Here is proof there are just way too many of you out there. Check out this list of things I have found:

  • Tag on a hair dryer - Do Not Use While Sleeping
  • On a bar of Dial Soap - Use like regular soap
  • Printed on the bottom of a frozen Tiramisu Dessert box - Do Not Turn Upside Down
  • On the Rowenta Iron package - Do not Iron Clothes while on Body
  • On a Children's Cough Medicine Bottle - Do not drive or operate heavy machinery
  • Nytol Sleep Aid - May cause drowsiness
  • On Sainbury's Peanuts container - May contain nuts
  • American Airlines Packet of Nuts - Open Package, Eat Nuts
  • On a Child's Superman Costume - Warning: wearing this costume does not enable you to fly
  • On a Swedish Chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals
  • A Cardboard Sun Shield for your car Windshield - Do not drive with shield in place

To you, Mr. and Mrs. Stupid, remember to use a condom.
We don't need any more stupid people.

A giant salute to stupid people everywhere
You make me so fucking proud
Without you, I wouldn't feel as intelligent
To the stupid people… try to comprehend this
I don't hate you; I simply pity your existence...

So stop breathing my precious fucking air!

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