It's Almost Christmas Time

Well Christmas time is almost here so I figured I would post some things I have seen around the net as possible would-be Christmas gifts. Yes, they are stupid. Would I post them if they weren't???


The Pizza Clock! It resembles a real 12" pizza! Just what everyone needs! I guess it would be okay if you owned a Pizza Shop but I see no reason why anyone else in their right mind should have one.




How can Anyone pass up the King Henry VIII Coffee Mug! This beautiful mug is covered in pictures of all of his wives. Doesn't matter if he divorced them or had them killed, they made it on the mug! I actually kind of like this one.


The Peter Petrie Egg Separator! This amazing item makes the task of separating eggs easy but disgusting at the same time. It's so simple to use! You simply crack the egg in the hand crafted ceramic head and tilt forward. The egg whites spill forth from the nose! Who sits around and comes up with this shit???


Tired of feeling like the only person not getting kissed around the holidays? Well you can solve this little problem by carrying around the Mistletoe-To-Go!!! No more will you be shunned by the opposite sex! I mean isn't it pretty much mandatory that you get kissed if you end up under the mistletoe! I do have a suggestion when using. If you are truly unattractive, do not stick this bad boy to your forehead until the person you are gunnin' for is right there next to ya! If they see it in advance you don't have a shot in hell!

If you are interested in actually purchasing some of these items, please visit Stupid.Com.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Some Names...

I would love to give this guy a call...

The Dumbass of the Day Award Goes To...

Wichita, KS (AP) - A Wichita man call 911 to report he was the victim of an armed robbery. The theft? A pound of marijuana worth about $1,100.00 that he had been trying to sell from his home.

The victim told police Thursday that a buyer had pulled out a sawed-off shotgun and stole the drugs.

Police brought in a drug-sniffing dog to the house and located more marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The victim was booked into Sedgwick County Jail on several charges, including possession with intent to sell drugs.

The thief has not been found.



Why in the fuck would you call the police if you were a drug dealer??? I would love to go and visit this guy in jail just to do a little jig then point and laugh!!!

Evil is lurking!!! Can you smell it??? Satan is this your handy work I see here???

I'm with Stupid - I'm with Satan T-Shirt

I am normally not one who wears t-shirts with all sorts of funny little sayings on them but I think I may have to make an exception in this case.



If you would be interested in purchasing this quality t-shirt, you can do so by visiting Diverse Universe. It's available for the ever so low price of $17.99!

Satan, I think someone is trying to steal some of your thunder!

This Inquiring Mind Wants To Know

Do I really have to remind you how much I hate stupidity? Probably not, but I also have to assume that many stupid people may stumble across my little humble abode on the net, so let me say it again.... I HATE STUPIDITY!!!

I have been thinking about some of the ignorant things people say every single day and there are many which annoy the piss out of me. Let me give you a few examples...

1. People who point at their wrist while asking you what time it is as if you don't have a clue what a watch is or wouldn't know where to find it. I am surprised they don't point at their crotch when asking where the fucking bathroom is.
2. Why do cops ask people if they know how fast they were going when they pull them over? Okay if they pulled me over wouldn't they be the ones with that tidbit of information? Seriously, are we playing a guessing game? If I get the answer right do I get out of the ticket?
3. I hate people who ask if they can borrow something when they mean to ask if they can have something. For instance, a piece of paper or one of my cigarettes. Why the hell would I want it back after you borrow it?
4. "Oh you just want your cake and you want to eat it too!" Do I really need to elaborate on this one? Okay for the stupid out there I will. Of course I want my cake and yes I want to eat it as well. What else am I going to do with my cake? Was I supposed to eat someone else's cake???
   
5. Why do they call things "new and improved"? It really cannot be both can it? If it's new then it can't be something which was improved upon right? And if its improved, how in the fuck is it new?
6. I hate the saying, "You will always find what you are looking for in the last place you look!" Really? No shit? You don't say? So you mean I will keep looking after I have found it just so it wouldn't be in the last place I look or what?
7. If you expect the unexpected then it really wasn't unexpected to begin with now was it?
8. "A stitch in time saves nine" - What does this mean? Saves 9 what? Minutes? Lives? Dolphins from getting caught in tuna fish nets??? HELP!!!
9. "That's the pot calling the kettle black" When did this pot learn to talk and does the kettle even know what it's saying?
10. I once had someone ask me if I wanted to "Go Dutch" on something. Why do they call it going Dutch? Are the Dutch known for paying for everything? If that's the case, I am getting me a new pen pal cuz I got a huge stack of bills which need to be paid.
    

A Message To Satan

This goes out to Satan from one of his minions....

I was just kind of hoping you could explain this picture???

Soul Soliciting....

I really hate this soul soliciting pig fucker...And to think there are thousands of people who give this greedy bastard money. Yes he is currently asking for donations towards his private jet. And the fact he begs for this money all in the name of Jesus really pisses me off. He prays on the weak and stupid. No wonder he is a millionaire.



I gotta admit, watching Benny lay the smack down on these people makes me laugh until I pee my pants!

HALLELUJAH!!! Gimme an AMEN!!!

For All The Stupid People Everywhere

To all the stupid people in the world:

Here is proof there are just way too many of you out there. Check out this list of things I have found:

• Tag on a hair dryer - Do Not Use While Sleeping
• On a bar of Dial Soap - Use like regular soap
  
• Printed on the bottom of a frozen Tiramisu Dessert box - Do Not Turn Upside Down
• On the Rowenta Iron package - Do not Iron Clothes while on Body
• On a Children's Cough Medicine Bottle - Do not drive or operate heavy machinery
• Nytol Sleep Aid - May cause drowsiness
• On Sainbury's Peanuts container - May contain nuts
• American Airlines Packet of Nuts - Open Package, Eat Nuts
• On a Child's Superman Costume - Warning: wearing this costume does not enable you to fly
• On a Swedish Chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals
• A Cardboard Sun Shield for your car Windshield - Do not drive with shield in place
  

To you, Mr. and Mrs. Stupid, remember to use a condom.
We don't need any more stupid people.

A giant salute to stupid people everywhere
You make me so fucking proud
Without you, I wouldn't feel as intelligent
To the stupid people… try to comprehend this
I don't hate you; I simply pity your existence...

So stop breathing my precious fucking air!

The Dangers of Anal Sex

Even I Am Not A Complete Asshole

Before I even venture into this post, I would like to point out that I am truly NOT an asshole. I don't care what color you are or what your sexual preference is or any of that other bullshit but I am telling, I was knocked on my ass when I saw this.

As you all may know, recently Neil Patrick Harris has decided to come out and tell the entire world he is gay. Big deal right??? Who really cares right?? I know I don't but when you run into pictures like these, you just have to sit back and wonder What the FUCK happened!!!???

Here we have cute little Doogie Howser M.D.

Here he is on Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle talking about it being a sausage fest in the back seat of the car saying they should go looking for some trim.

Here is where the trouble begins. The only woman he can touch is inflatable.

HELLO! Everyone say it with me, "I'm HERE! I'm QUEER!"

I 'Heart' Chinese

Dear Mr. Dipshit Driver

I just wanted to take a brief second and say thanks. Yep, just thank you for being a complete stupid fuck and cutting me off while I was on my leisurely drive to the bank. Perhaps if you didn't have that cell phone in one hand while the other one was on the steering wheel I wouldn't be writing you this letter now.

However, there is a very good chance you are just an all around piece of shit who cannot drive worth a damn. Seeing as though I am in a good mood I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and blame it on your complete lack on concentration due to the cell phone conversation you were having.

I just wish I knew exactly who you were talking to. Considering you were laughing and having a grand ole' time while driving down the road, I doubt it was the suicide hotline. I guess that is just wishful thinking on my part.

In closing I would just like to wish you a Merry Christmas. Oh and please go fuck yourself :)